Be Kind Enough to Yourself to Walk Away
Mar 04, 2020
No relationship should be 50/50.. IDEALLY, everyone should be cheerfully putting in more then they expect to receive; like a mother to child, real love is in the giving, not in what comes back. Unfortunately/fortunately, we don't get to live in the ideal, and the reality is much more complex, challenging, and more frustrating.
We pour ourselves into others, and it almost feels like we're depleting the more we give. People are expensive; they cost, time, energy, attention and love. And fortunately/unfortunately, we don't hold unlimited sources of any of those. We have to be mindful of who we spend our time, energy, attention and love on, because spending on some means, we're not spending it on others (often that other includes US). In an IDEAL world, we give ourselves to the ones that matter most, but in the real world, we often give our most to those who demand it. They guilt us for our time, shame us for not paying attention, and now we're spending it all on them out of obligation, instead of out of enthusiasm.
It's up to you to decide who's worth your energy, time, attention, and love, and make sure you're on the top of that list. If you're not putting yourself first, you'll be of very little value to others, and you'll fall in the trap of the romantic martyr; someone who thinks it's honourable to deplete themselves for the sake of others. It's not honourable, it's whack, not sustainable, and will drown you in self-pity.
If you're pouring yourself into a one-way relationship, find the self-love required to walk away. If you're the one allowing another to destroy themselves for your benefit, ask yourself if that's who you really want to be, and what you're going to do when that other person reads my caption, smartens up, and dumps your ass.
Love is a losing game based on the expectations and the way we play, but it doesn't have to be. People are not sources of love for us, they're keys that help us find the love that's always existed within. Spend more time with those people, and learn to walk away, or reduce your time with the other. #BLESS
We pour ourselves into others, and it almost feels like we're depleting the more we give. People are expensive; they cost, time, energy, attention and love. And fortunately/unfortunately, we don't hold unlimited sources of any of those. We have to be mindful of who we spend our time, energy, attention and love on, because spending on some means, we're not spending it on others (often that other includes US). In an IDEAL world, we give ourselves to the ones that matter most, but in the real world, we often give our most to those who demand it. They guilt us for our time, shame us for not paying attention, and now we're spending it all on them out of obligation, instead of out of enthusiasm.
It's up to you to decide who's worth your energy, time, attention, and love, and make sure you're on the top of that list. If you're not putting yourself first, you'll be of very little value to others, and you'll fall in the trap of the romantic martyr; someone who thinks it's honourable to deplete themselves for the sake of others. It's not honourable, it's whack, not sustainable, and will drown you in self-pity.
If you're pouring yourself into a one-way relationship, find the self-love required to walk away. If you're the one allowing another to destroy themselves for your benefit, ask yourself if that's who you really want to be, and what you're going to do when that other person reads my caption, smartens up, and dumps your ass.
Love is a losing game based on the expectations and the way we play, but it doesn't have to be. People are not sources of love for us, they're keys that help us find the love that's always existed within. Spend more time with those people, and learn to walk away, or reduce your time with the other. #BLESS